The Journey of Transformation

I recently got together with a friend of mine who specializes in helping business owners develop their marketing package. Part of her work is helping business owners get very clear about who they are and what they are offering. She felt my personal story of transformation was strongest marketing tool I had. It was the story of my own journey through the darkness and my re-emergence into the person I am today!

Once again I was led back into my past, a place I thought I could finally put behind me. We went back to a time that is still particularly hard for me to talk about. The fifth grade! Ouch! This was the ugly duckling phase of my life where I had the experience of being the most UNPOPULAR kid in the class. I was given a nickname “Smitty the Dog Face!” and constantly bullied, battered, condemned and criticized for the way I looked. Not only by the students in the class but the Teacher as well. It used to be difficult to even tell the story without the tears. It was easier for me to pretend I was never fat and ugly (as I believed I was) and focus on the woman I had become, transformed by the years; transformed by life.

With the help of my friend I was able to see how valuable my story really was. It lets people know where I have come from and it shows just how huge that transformation really was.

“What does a woman like you know about being fat or unattractive” I hear over and over again. They see me as I am now; a woman who has overcome. They don't know about the fifth grade. They don't know about the Anorexia, the Bulimia, the near death experience, the abusive relationships or any of the history that created who I am today. My life has been built on my history. Each piece of yesterday was a building block to who I am today! If I were to remove all those building blocks I would be but a hollow, empty shell. Instead I am rich with experience. I have undergone the dark night of the soul and I have survived!

I remember back in 1988 when I had a Counseling and Hypnotherapy practice I attracted mostly women with weight issues and eating disorders. I would often hear a client say, “I went to see Dr."so and so" who also specializes in eating disorders but I just didn't feel he could understand me. I feel you do!”

I realize academics can only give us an external view of an issue. Experience gives us an internal view. We can only take others as deep into their psyche as we ourselves have dared to travel. I have made the journey to the deepest places. I have walked through the fire. I wrote about it, sang about it and shared my stories. When a client says to me “This is where I am”, I intuitively see her as if I was looking at a map of her walking on a hiking trail through the canyon of life. I can remember back to what it was like to be there and have a sense of where to go next. I can say “up ahead about a mile there will be a trail veering to the right, you want to take that one!” In a sense I am a guide; a trail guide to the inner journey!

People still look at me and say, “if I follow these steps will I look like you?” I have to laugh and say "Of course not! You will look like you, only a more empowered, attractive and self-assured version."

We all have the seeds of beauty within us. It is those seeds we must nurture. If we feed the seeds of ugliness and unworthiness this is what will continue growing in our lives. But if we make a conscious decision right now, to pull the weeds of self-doubt and nurture the image of what we want to create in our lives, this image will eventually be what is out-pictured in our lives.

Beauty and ugliness are a state of mind. We develop from the inside out! We culture the seeds of beauty within us. We become beautiful by seeing the beauty in our world and feeling the beauty in our souls. When we can look at a flower or a butterfly and say “Oh my God it is so beautiful!” we are experiencing beauty. When we see nothing but ugliness in our world, we also see ugliness when we look into the mirror. I have experienced this time and again! What I see in the mirror is a direct reflection of how I am viewing the world in the moment. If I don't like what I see, it likely has more to do with how I feel than the image in the mirror. The first part of changing the image in the mirror is changing how we feel and changing our view on life. When we do this the mirror image will transform accordingly.

The journey of transformation is the journey one must take to get from where he/she is now to where he/she wants to be. It is not always an easy journey but it is a worthwhile one. The pain of being stuck where you are right now has to be strong enough to inspire a willingness to commit to the journey of change. But once you do commit, positive change is inevitable and the benefits of transformation will far outweigh the comfort and safety of staying the same.

Kaleah LaRoche is a Health and Weight Loss Coach and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist specializing in helping others transform the quality of their lives through healthy diet, exercise and positive programming.

Back to Articles